Betrayal at Beaucedine

Warning: This post contains copious amounts of spoilers. Players with heart conditions are advised not to read beyond this paragraph. Players who wish to unravel the WotG storyline on their own are also advised not to read beyond this sentence.

Click here for part two of the spoof series.
Click here for part four of the spoof series.















So once again, I find myself exiting the men's washroom only to be glomped by an anonymous fan girl. But who is this? Why, it is Lilisette, and she claims everyone has forgotten her?















Of course I remember you Lilisette, and by you, I mean that tooshie of yours. But what are you murmuring? Your friends have forgotten ME as well? Well, this I just have to see!















And unfortunately, it seems true. Somehow, Lily's dancing buddies have forgotten me and have not the slightest clue whom Lilisette is either. But who needs friends anyway? I will buy you a drink, Lily; beer will solve all problems!















And I guess she is off to cry on Portia with that remark -- I really ought to watch my words. Do not fret, Lily; it seems that Portia and your mentor still remember me -- I mean you! Unfortunately, Rage is still in the hospital, but I heard he was assigned a sexy nurse to accompany him.















Speaking of whom, here she is now. It seems that Portia does not like her very much; get along you two!















We ended up dragging Portia with us to the Beaucedine Glacier to avoid a potential catfight. Crisis averted! Once there, we bumped into Cait Sith Naoi, who needed help locating a traitor among her feline companions. Unfortunately, Lily agreed to help, and...















... I got transformed into a baby Chocobo to lure Naoi's buddies out of hiding. Why does this feel like a twisted parody of Sylvester and Tweety, and how did Lily find a Chocobo Pullus Torque anyway?















After planting homing beacons onto each of the cats, Naoi discovered the traitor was Ceithir and caught him red-handed with another purple freak.















Unfortunately, we botched taking pictures, and the Galka spotted us! However, I am not afraid of some purple Galka; bring it on, Larzos!















Hey, no fair. He summoned friends, lots of friends...















... who are clearly no match for a couple of dancers and a melee WHM. For shame!















Now where did that Galka run off to? Oh, what is that noise? Sounds like something fall-- OH !@#$! RUN, girls!















And with that, I have been buried alive by ancient Galkan snowman magic. I sure hope someone finds my icy tomb soon. Until next time!

Family Reunion

A new adventurer strides onto the grassy plains of Sarutabaruta; however, he is no ordinary Tarutaru: he is my brother. After waking to the FFXI log-in music several weeks ago, I noticed that, for once, the sound was not emanating from my PC. I could not believe what I saw next: my brother had downloaded the FFXI free trial and was exploring the world of Vana'diel.















I was skeptical to my brother's intent, but I decided to power-level him to help alleviate his newbie burdens. Unfortunately, my brother did not stay in FFXI, and it turns out he had several reasons:

a) FFXI has a clumsy interface compared to the other online games.
b) It took a large amount of time to do anything.
c) There was slow character development.

As someone who has not ventured into other online RPGs, I was somewhat surprised at my brother's reasons, but they made sense in the end. Whether SE will address any of the issues above remains a mystery, but one thing is for certain: the game population is shrinking, and SE will soon merge select servers on Monday.

So goodbye, Fairy; hello, Sylph.