Click here for part six of the spoof series.
We are back for more fun, mayhem, and misadventures in Xarcabard [S], so if you do not recall what transpired in the last few hours, I had just switched allegiances to escape certain defeat, ignored Lilisette as she was clubbed to death, and started a flirtatious relationship with Lady Lilith. Unfortunately for me, Cait Sith managed to escape during the chaos, and as a result, Lady Lilith dispatched me to hunt her down while she dealt with the Allied remnant.
Speaking of whom, there is my lover now, but how dare she smooch and caress that other red-head behind my back! I should charge down this hill and give her a piece of my mind...
Just as soon as I discover why her other lover emanates this sickly, purple aura.
And now he is dead. Something tells me that a healthy relationship with Lady Lilith would result in an early demise, so I will be retreating towards San d'Oria [S] now.
Predictably, my return to San d'Oria [S] proved nigh fatal when a furious Cait Sith thrashed me upon entry. Please stop pummeling me, Super Cat -- I will renounce my evil ways and rejoin the Allied Forces!
Thankfully, Cait Sith agreed to give me a second chance, but she immediately demanded that I confront and subdue Lilith's subordinates in the Walk of Echoes. I suppose we better set foot now if we are to catch them in a preemptive strike.
So immediately after, Cait Sith and I ventured into the Walk of Echoes to storm the Spitewarden's barracks, or more accurately, I discovered that I would be squaring off against all the wardens alone given Cait's uncontrollable superpowers.
Ah, Rage and Portia, just the two I wanted to see! Wait, what do you mean Lady Lilith knows of my betrayal and replaced me already? I have only been gone for an hour! Who could she possibly replace me with?!
No, it cannot be! She could not have replaced me with this fruity mockery! All right, Spitewardens, I will give you all five seconds to surrender unconditionally. One, two...
Yeah, I did not think anyone would. En garde!
So after a long brawl, the four remaining Spitewardens finally capitulated, and Cait Sith and I promptly escorted them back to San d'Oria [S] for detainment. Reflecting back on the fight, I could have forewarned the wardens that the new player cap is level 90, but what fun would that be? Despite defeating four Spitewardens simultaneously, Lady Lilith still remained at large, so I needed a new sidekick to defy her might.
Luckily, Cait Sith had just the solution: Lilisette could be resurrected via a Pixie cloning hatchery in Grauberg [S]. Unfortunately, Cait Sith neglected to inform me that I would be incubating the Lily egg for several hours, and I was not particularly interested in becoming a hen.
Oh well; no use complaining. Cluck, Cluck, Ba-gawk!
It worked! Lily#2 has arrived!
Say, Cait Sith, she does not retain any memories of me abandoning her, right?
Good. Now that Lily is back, can I nuzzle her face too?
After our happy reunion, Cait and I informed the new Lily on current events and of our pressing need to defeat Lady Lilith. After a small picnic, we decided to set foot into an undisclosed location in the Walk of Echoes...
... where Lady Lilith was already awaiting us. Your feminine wiles will not save you this time, Lilith! I will be receiving a harem of Lilisettes after this is over, right Cait?
Thankfully, the ensuing fight went in our favor given Lilith's reliance on sorcery rather than summoning Odin to decimate us. All was going well, and victory was all but ensured until...
... Lady Lilith impaled Lily#2 and merged essences with her!
Behold, Lady Lilith's ascension!
Unfortunately for her, I was not interested in ladies with twice my height.
And it appears the Lily-Lilith entity could not withstand the rejection; she must have triggered the self-destruct command!
Five, four, three, two...
Oh look, Atomos noticed the commotion and promptly devoured her whole! Now we can all return to -- wait, now he is trying to devour me too! Cait Sith, I need another Lilisette!
All right, Lily#3, time is short and Atomos wishes to destroy all life, so you will need to clog his stomach until he suffers from indigestion. Ready? Set? Toss!
Goodbye, Lily#3; I will be sure to ask Cait Sith for a clone just like you! In the end, four babes perished needlessly and a happy couple wound up in jail, but since I just saved the world, it is time for an ice cream sundae at Cait Sith's expense. Hurray for me and the end of the WotG missions!
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